Not an unfamiliar word to hear incorrectly thrown around by an all-too insecure "almond mom" after a couple bites of dessert, or maybe an uncle after Thanksgiving, or even someone who just completed a large bag of chips while finishing Game of Thrones, the term "binge", has become rather mainstream. It should come as no shock, then, that binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in America. Understanding that so many in the nation are suffering from something that is essential to life is, admittedly, a bit backwards. And still, it is only so deeply understood by professionals. But at the end of the day, because of the frequent inappropriate usage of the word in every-day life, it is first essential that we properly define a binge.
What Makes a Binge, a Binge?
Binges are valid and different for everyone who endures them, but doctors have generally agreed that a binge could last for a period of 40 minutes on the quicker side, and upwards of just over two hours on the longer side (NEDA). Once binges are persistent in someones life at least weekly for three months, one is technically then considered to be suffering from Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Those struggling for shorter, though, should still consider seeking professional help to ensure further spiraling. Binges are commonly associated with what is known as purging, the act of somehow removing the food from your system or competing against it with exercise to "cancel out" the calories absorbed. Binging and purging, however are separate behaviors and disorders, and can exist independently of one another, as well. No matter if someone purges or sits with their binge, it can bring up a host of emotions, reactions, pain, and more. Keep writing to truly understand what it's like to be in the mind of someone struggling....
How Does A Binge Feel?
(Of course, this is based on one person's account, and things can be similar or different for everyone)
With your stomach inflated like a balloon, skin stretching to adapt to a new size, you feel that you have physically overcome your limit. You feel there is no way your body can process such an excess of fuel, and that you will remain an inflated nuisance for the rest of your days. How will you face friends, move in school or work, and how won't your loved ones turn on you? Though minutes ago you were inhaling chocolates and cookies and ice cream with glee, now you are fighting not to look in the mirror or step foot in the bathroom, fearful of the further damage you could do despite momentary relief. You curse yourself for your earlier actions and try to convince yourself this was somehow unavoidable. Maybe if you took a walk, or asked for help? Though who's to say you wouldn't give in after your walk or the next day. Even when stuffed, your ED is unsatisfied. The kitchen beckons you from the couch as you try to fight your thoughts, convinced you're a slave to your mind, that this is your free will, not your disorder. But each decorated box of cereal smiles at you and each snack has never seemed as vibrant as it does in this moment. You feel as if your heartstrings have been intercepted and attached to these foods, they're pulling you in one step at a time. Your brain works quickly to fight and judge if something is really worth it, when you know it can really just wait til tomorrow. It will still be there, just as delicious, and even without the guilt. But no, your heart lifts your hand to a box, and you are again, a victim. Your mind screams NOOOO and shouts at you that this doesn't even taste that good, asking what's even the point? But at this point, you're in so deep, so what's the point of not reaching in and giving in again. Just inches from the bottom of the box, it is returned to the shelf, as you must crawl back to the couch, so weighed down and in so much pain that you cannot stand any longer. As you already struggle with body image issues, you just wonder, like a plea to the heavens, why do I have to suffer so? But you don't need some divine response, for the answer you've known all along: that binge was a response to mental restriction, and it will happen again and again until you let go of your other EDs.
Clearly, binges are a struggle between a parasite(ED), your brain (it's host), and your heart. The internal dialogue is a constant battle, and at the end of the day, you're the only one with a target on your back.
If you find yourself in a binge and wanting to stop, my biggest recommendation is to drink water, close the food as soon as you can and put it all away (this is the hardest part), and either go to sleep, or if you have a trusted adult or therapist, have them help you talk yourself down and through what happened. I know how impossible it feels to turn away from the kitchen sometimes, but giving in means it's only going to happen again. Though you may have lapses in your recovery, it is important to not let them bog you back down. Slowly but surely, the lengths of time you go between binges will become greater and greater. Slowly but surely, you will rediscover your misplaced strength and voice.
I believe in all of you struggling, and if you're stopping by for some education, thank you and welcome.
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